The Ungrateful Refugee: What Immigrants Never Tell You

The narrative shifts back to 1989, when Nayeri and her family arrive in Oklahoma and move into the loft of their conservative evangelical sponsors, Jim and Jean. At first, they feel like they are “in a film” as they enjoy Fourth of July celebrations, uncensored libraries, candies, and American sitcoms like Perfect Strangers (181). Over time, however, the culture gap becomes apparent. Nayeri doesn’t care for American treats like slushies. Americans ignore her descriptions of the good things in Iran, such as Iranian pastries and sayings, and instead treat her as if she should be grateful that she isn’t in a backwater country. Maman tells her children to only discuss the Three Miracles instead of Iranian life.

Nayeri discovers that, despite her lost school time, she is ahead of American students in math but struggles with subjects like social studies. Her racist classmates harass her, first with anti-Chinese slurs and later anti–Middle Eastern ones. As Nayeri enters puberty, she struggles to pick clothes and learns about sex after students tease her about calling an eraser a “rubber” (186). Without Nayeri’s knowledge, Maman arranges for the school cafeteria to let them buy school lunch cards instead of waiting in the low-income line.