Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to You

Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to You is a young adult novel for older teens by Peter Cameron. The novel's protagonist, eighteen-year-old James Sveck, has just graduated from college in New York City and is struggling with his past and his idea of the future. Narrated by James, the story includes his experience having a break down during a conference in Washington D.C. The novel is ultimately a coming of age tale about James's struggle to find himself and realize what he wants while dealing with trauma he struggles to understand.

The novel begins with an examination of James's life. James recently graduated from high school. A smart, creative kid, he is set to attend Brown University in Providence in the fall. However, James isn't particularly excited about his future plans; instead, he dreams about moving to the Midwest and buying a home where he can live out his days alone, working the land. A loner by choice, James struggles to connect to others, feeling as if his future isn't in his own hands.

James works at his mother's art gallery in New York City, which is nearly always empty. Having too much time on his hands, he spends his days talking to his supervisor, John Webster, an attractive gay man who spends his spare time at work looking for a suitable partner on dating sites. To occupy himself one day, James spies on John's profile and then creates a mock profile of an attractive man who fits all of John's parameters. Obviously thrilled, John immediately responds to James's fake profile asking to meet. Later, when the prank is revealed and the person John thought was his soul mate turns out to be his mocking, teenaged employee, John is devastated; James struggles to deal with the guilt he feels over what he has done.



Unsure what to do, James decides to visit his grandmother, who is slightly more open-minded about his future than his parents, who insist he attend university as planned. James doesn't like a lot of his grandmother's suggestions, however, and keeps thinking about the house he wants to buy in the Midwest. Wanting to isolate himself, he is deeply troubled by the idea of attending college and surrounding himself with a bunch of people his own age. Dedicated to seeing his fantasy through, James calls a realtor in Indiana about a house listed online, but the news she gives him is not what he wants to hear. Devastated, James returns to his sulking.

As the story goes on, James spends time reflecting on some of his experiences in the past few months, which shook him to the core. James had written a satirical essay responding to a prompt for a conference in Washington D.C. Although he meant it as a joke, the conference staff took him seriously, inviting James to the conference, which his parents and teachers pressured him to attend despite his reservations. Rooming with two other boys, James felt suffocated by his inability to have time to himself. Desperate for time alone, he walked out of a dinner theatre event, disappearing into the city, spending his days in Smithsonian museums, and refusing to return to the conference. James was eventually caught by the police and had a mental breakdown.

James reflects on this experience with his new therapist, who questions whether some of his fear might be the result of his close proximity to the events of 9/11, which he hasn't processed. James considers this. He visits his grandmother again. She tells James that after she passes, he will inherit all of her belongings, which touches him deeply.



The novel ends with James processing his trauma and attending university at Brown as planned. He receives notification that his grandmother, who had passed weeks before, has left him all her belongings. He makes a plan to store them for his future home, perhaps in the Midwest, perhaps somewhere more populated.

American novelist Peter Cameron writes books for adults and teens that grapple with mental health, trauma, and character development, rather than focusing on plot. He splits his time between Vermont and New York City. Some of Cameron's books include Leap Year, The Weekend, Andorra, and most recently, Coral Glynn.