Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

Tawwab argues that self-care and healthy boundaries are closely-linked aspects of mental and emotional health, and that both demonstrate self-awareness and self-respect. The author tries to persuade the reader that “self-care isn’t selfish” and that the “root of self-care is setting boundaries” (6). According to the author, the act of acknowledging one’s own needs and creating boundaries which reflect them is, in itself, an act of self-care. She questions the conventional definition of self-care as revolving around expensive vacations, spa days, or shopping. Instead, she says, “real acts of self-care have little to do with spending money. Instead, they’re about showing up for yourself by setting boundaries” (154). Moreover, when people have the confidence to enforce boundaries, it shows self-respect and ensures that people will treat them accordingly.

The author also maintains that poor boundaries can lead to a lack of self-care. Tawwab notes that when people are unable to protect their emotional boundaries or become too engrossed in helping others, they tend to neglect their own needs. She claims, “I can’t tell you how many people show up in my office lamenting, ‘I don’t have time to do anything for myself.’ After a quick evaluation, it becomes apparent that these people are not making any time for themselves.