Please Look After Mom

Many of the conflicts in Please Look After Mom stem from the conflicting values of different generations. So-nyo’s children realize that they have neglected their mother, and their guilt grows after her disappearance. Each child appraises their individual culpability by comparing their values and worldviews to their missing mother’s.

So-nyo’s entire life had been one of self-sacrifice for her children, and the modern concept of simply not doing something based on one’s feelings did not seem possible for her, though she did hope for this kind of freedom for her youngest daughter. Chi-hon and her younger sister equated their mother with the kitchen because their mother spent most of her life cooking. Only after So-nyo’s disappearance do the sisters wonder if their mother really enjoyed cooking or if she only did it because society expected her to comply without complaining. In fact, when Chi-hon asked her mother whether she enjoyed cooking, So-nyo replied, “I don’t like or dislike the kitchen. I cooked because I had to. […] How could you only do what you like? There are things you have to do whether you like it or not” (60). So-nyo drew joy and strength from feeding her children, and so didn’t approach the task of cooking in terms of autonomy or individual pursuits.