Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

The way parents engage with body sovereignty, i.e., the idea that only the individual has the right to control their body, will impact their child. Having sovereignty over one’s body means that it is alright to say no to something, even if it upsets someone else. Not only should a child have the vocabulary for this, but they also need to feel empowered to use it when something doesn’t feel right. This includes physical experiences, such as not wanting to hug a grandparent, as well as other situations involving consent, such as not wanting to join their friends immediately at a birthday party or refusing food at the dinner table when they feel full. When adults intervene in these situations with what they think the child ought to do, they cause self-doubt and wire the child not to trust themselves.

Approaching situations involving consent begins with a parent explicitly stating that they believe their child when the latter expresses a feeling. Parents can also note that something about the situation seems to be bothering the child, especially when the parent does not understand why the child is feeling a certain way. This displays validation of the child’s feelings. Additionally, the parent can explicitly note that the child is the only one in their body and the only one capable of knowing what they like.