Gender Queer: A Memoir

In the summer of 2016, Kobabe attends the Queer Comics Expo and finds a pronoun patch with eir pronouns on it. Kobabe wears it and realizes e is too afraid to correct people on eir pronouns. E worries about “sounding like an asshole” (209-11). Kobabe begins using “metaphors of mild physical pain” to explain what being misgendered feels like (212). While at Comic Con in 2016 with eir graduate school roommate Ashley, e vents about being misgendered and Ashley suggests e writes a comic about eir experience.

On Christmas in 2016, Phoebe and Amila gift Kobabe two binders. The binders give em gender euphoria but are a temporary measure until e can get top surgery. Eir parents stumble frequently with eir new pronouns, and eir mom grows annoyed with Kobabe’s corrections. E reads a work email that uses eir proper pronouns and experiences gender euphoria, but e receives a call shortly thereafter about scheduling another pap smear. E tries to avoid the appointment but agrees to schedule one.

Kobabe struggles even more with eir second pap smear due to the trauma from eir first appointment. E cannot physically complete the procedure and has a panic attack.