Gender Queer: A Memoir

“Our neighbors had three kids. Galen, also age three. Bronwen, age nine. Rebecca, age twelve. Perhaps my earliest gender-related memory […].”

Bronwen and Rebecca use one of Kobabe’s dresses to dress up their brother Galen and present him as their “new sister,” named “Galena.” This memory is important because it shows that playing with gender presentation is possible from a young age. However, it may be a negative memory, too, as Rebecca giggles while asking for the dress. Her giggle suggests dressing up Galen is a joke and the idea of him being a different gender is funny.

“Because she is a girl and girls have cooties!”

Kobabe runs into gendered expectations between boys and girls at school when e tries to play with the boys alongside Galen. Being treated as a girl quickly becomes distressing for Kobabe.

“What even are you, a boy or a girl?”

Kobabe finds comfort in confusing people about eir place in the gender binary, as opposed to the stress and dysphoria e feels when e is called a girl.